be Lovely is BACK!

It has been so long!  Oh how I have missed the blogging, the makeup, the parties, the people, and the fight!  Now, let me tell you why I have had to miss...

It all came to a pretty big hault when I got pregnant with my first, Oscar, almost 4 years ago now.  It wasnt because anything went horribly wrong.  At the time I was doing be Lovely and just started doing some outreach on the streets of Minneapolis with an anti sex trafficking organization and quickly realized that it wasnt a safe environment for me to be pregnant in.  That was kind of my first realization that I was going to have to take a break.  This is not to say that being pregnant or having kids should stop anyone from their dream.  I actually believe the exact opposite of that....I'll get into that later. I  then had 3 kids in 4 years.

 At first I was not happy about feeling like I needed to take a break from the work I was doing.  But it became pretty clear it was the right thing to do.  It has been an honor to raise my three beautiful and crazy little humans.  I waited impatiently at times, for God to be like, "ok, Rach, its your time now." And at the same time I wanted to live every moment fully with my kids and be content in the space I was in.  So 3.5 years pass, and I met a lovely woman at some random event that said she worked with an anti trafficking organization here in the cities.  And so it begins, the rebirth of be Lovely.

I am now in the beginning stages of working with an organization here in the cities to do what I am passionate about, meeting women where they are at, trapped in sex slavery and the sex industry, to show them love and point  them to resources that could possibly help them escape their reality.  I am so excited about this opportunity and so excited to work along side people with my same passion.

With that random (not so random) introduction, at that random event....it was the "ok" i needed to get back in the lives of women, which gave me the opportunity to completely revamp be Lovely.  be Lovely will still be a for profit business that gives a percentage of all sales to anti sex trafficking organizations that are already doing amazing work. It will still function in the same way it always has.  I will do home parties, events and speaking as a way to bring awareness to this reality. What will be different is the product itself.  I have decided to make my own makeup, starting with lipstick!  I used to use a private labeling company, which was fine for what it was, but I continually had people asking me "do you make the product yourself?" "whats in it?".  So, you have inspired me!!  I have already started testing it and doing tons of research.  I want the product to be natural (truly natural)  but have quality.  I have done lots of research and will continue to, so that I can make a high quality product that everyone will want to use.  A lot of you have asked to place orders, or how to get the product.  I promise its coming but before I sell it to you,  I want to make sure I create the best product  I can.  So,  know that as soon as i'm ready to sell,  I will be plastering it all over social media so you dont miss out, and you can spread the word that be Lovely is BACK! :)

This is my whole reason for be Lovely.  Not everyone has my same passion and not everyone is going to fight against it like I do.  So, this is where awareness and practical steps for people come in.  If you already know my story you know this part, but be Lovely is just a tool for bigger things.  I want people to buy be Lovely product because they love it, but also because, the next time someone says, "I like your lipstick, where did you get it?"  you can reply with an answer of love for people and an awareness of the reality of sex trafficking.

I'm so excited to be back.  I'm excited to live my passion.  I'm excited to show my kids that their mom LOVES peoples stories and wants to fight for them.  I can still be a great stay at home mom that lives the way God intended me to live, loving people through their stories and fighting for and with them.

If you have followed me from the beginning, thank you for being on the journey with me and for inspiring me in so many ways.  If you are new to be Lovely,  welcome.  My old entries will give you my story and will show my heart for what I do.  We are also on other social media so feel free to follow us there to get all the updates and soon....PRODUCT!

Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/belovelymakeup

Twitter:
@belovelymakeup

Its gonna get uncomfortable....

Here's the deal, I know that pornography is a touchy subject for some.  You may be all for it, completely against it, affected by it, addicted to it, or are very naive.

I know that most of what I do is anti human trafficking but the idea of pornography and how it affects and feeds into human trafficking is very real, and it has been on my mind a lot.  I used to be one that was very naive about it.  Didn't know how many people it affected and if it did, it was such a foreign concept.  Now after my own life experience and making the effort to understand both sides, I now more than ever have a deeper understanding and a compassion (not pity or patranizing ) for all involved.  If you know my story, you know that I have a good idea what porn is all about.

In my own life, I saw others around me with an addiction to this now $57 billion worldwide industry. Its often said "its a need" or "its two consenting adults, so its ok".  There becomes a sense of entitlement because someone is paying for it. Society feeds into this distorted view.  I have met the people behind the camera, and now have a son myself.  If I thought my passion to combat things like pornography and sex trafficking were intense then,  with a child, it is indescribable.  I now know the love that a mom has for her child. I feel it, I live it.  Even as an infant, the need to protect him is nothing I have ever felt for another human before.

Now, don't think that just because I don't watch porn, that I know nothing about it.  I have been and seen the sex industry.  I've been to the porn conventions where I am with both porn stars, producers and consumers. I've seen the culture.  I know that when asked, some porn stars say they love it and some say that they hate it.  I get that I may be the minority when I say that porn is a very unhealthy way to find pleasure in your own sexual world.

If we can start viewing pornography not as part of sexuality, or a norm of society, but instead view it as commercial sexual exploitation, we can begin to see where the discrepancies lie.

Definition of Pornography:
noun
obscene writings, drawings, photographs, or the like, especially those having little or no artistic merit.
Origin:
Comes from the greek
1840-1850
pornography 

1857, "description of prostitutes," from Fr. pornographie, from Gk. pornographos "(one) writing ofprostitutes," from porne "prostitute," originally "bought, purchased" (with an original notion, probably of"female slave sold for prostitution;" related to pernanai "to sell," from PIE root per- "to traffic in, to sell," cf. L. pretium "price")

The history of the word says a lot.....

When porn is consumed or bought it creates a false sense of sexual reality.  It creates a drive, desire and eventual addiction to wanting more than just viewing.  It gives a sense of entitlement in the real world of someones sex life, and an expectation to have it on demand.  It messes with the natural process of sexuality. Needing more and more "intense" porn is the process of becoming addicted.  I have seen it to people in my life before.  When the act of sex is no longer "enough" it becomes violent or illegal (child pornography) addiction.  When someone thinks they need it and will force someone (married or not) to give it to them.  

In a book called The Johns, Victor Malarek writes, "The message is clear: if prostitution is the main act, the porn is the dress rehearsal."

The connection.....women and children are being sold into prostitution and sex slavery.  There are times that a victim will be recorded in the act of prostitution and it will be sold without their consent. 

Porn is just an entry way into the mind that makes people eventually think that buy sex on the street or forcing someone to a sexual act is ok.  

I don't want to make this just a religious or moral issue.  This is a social and brain function issue. 

My goal is to look into how this affects someones brain scientifically.  It's easy to just say,  "I don't believe its healthy or right so you shouldn't either."  Although it makes sense to me, I know that convincing others of that is not so easy.

So get a little bit uncomfortable and start having the conversation with people in your own life so that this doesn't become more of an epidemic than it already is.....

How free are we?...

This week I've been watching the news more than I usually do, due to the tragedy at the Boston Marathon.  First off, I want to acknowledge, remember and give respect to the individuals who lost their lives, and the families that are now hurting because of it.  I was grateful to see all of the people who helped and continue to help the victims of that day.

Because of that tragedy, I head the word "freedom" being spoken a lot.  There are two different freedoms here.  The freedom we have because of the men and women who have fought and sacrificed for us to live in a place like the United States of America.  Now, dont be confused, I am very grateful and honored for that freedom.  My brother was a sniper in the Army, who fought bravely for this country and I am very proud of that.  He continues to serve in the National Guard.

The freedom I am going to speak of, is one of the kinds that President Lincoln fought for. The kind where slaves no longer exist.  Where people aren't forced into work, sex or any other act that they did not choose.  I think that Lincoln would be disappointed.....thats not the right word, more like devastated, to know that slavery is bigger now than it was then.  Not to say that he fought for nothing, because he didn't.  He made a huge impact on our world in that way and passed laws to fight and end slavery.  For that he is a hero.

So often as Americans, we feel untouchable.  Like, nothing bad happens here because its America, the best place on earth to live.  It may be an amazing place to live but we too have our dirty little secrets.  The problem is, this secret of slavery (human trafficking)  is not little...its massive.
I often think, "man, I'm glad that I didnt live when there were slaves, because it would have made me so angry to see people treated like trash/unfair/inhumane. I wouldn't have been able to keep my mouth shut." (speaking of black/African American slaves).  Now let me challenge those of you who have had that same thought.  Think of how passionate that makes you.  What would YOU have done?

I get that slavery was legal at one point in our history.  Does that make it right? Just a thought.

The slavery that happens in our FREE country is BIGGER than it has ever been in human history.  Does that bother anyone?  Some people don't know what human trafficking is.  Does that bother anyone?  Some people think that its a problem in lots of other countries far from here, but not the United States of America.  Does that bother anyone?

How far are we willing to go, to tell people?  Ignorance is not bliss.  The problem lies within our own culture.  Porn.  Prostitution. Our young people, who are runaways, or just a young girl or boy from your local elementary or high school are feeding grounds to be sold into slavery/sex trafficking.

I cant say it enough....IT HAPPENS HERE!!! Please, take the time to look up the stats in your area.  I can tell you that Minnesota (the innocent midwest)  is number 13, for the most highly trafficked metropolitan area in the United States.

Please read this story.  http://www.startribune.com/local/east/202327981.html?refer=y
One example in St. Paul.  The names of towns surrounding this article are familiar if you live in Minnesota.  This is local.  It was a sex trafficking ring controlled by one family.

Educate yourself. Educate others. Take action.

Ways of action:

Buy from people you know are fighting this problem.  From clothes, to makeup to food.  Your purchases make a difference.  Prices dont matter when you put a face to the cost of destruction.

Find local initiatives.  Join them or fund them.

Talk to the people in your life.  A lot of people dont know that it exists.  And if they do, they dont understand the affects they have on feeding into it.

be Lovely is a tool for me to offer people to buy makeup that gives to help fight human trafficking. It is also an education tool for people who use it.  If you wear makeup, I encourage you to check my line out. belovely.com

Lazy day? Brighter day.

Its almost spring so I figured it was a good time for a blog on a simple makeup tip!

There are days when you dont feel like doing much as far as makeup goes...you're tired, you ran out of time, its too much work.  Whatever the case may be, there are ways to make you look like you did more work then you really did! :)  As a makeup artist, I have those moments too.

Its all about the lips.  If you make those look a little dramatic, you dont have to make the rest of your face that way.  Actually,  "the rule"  is, if you have a dramatic lip, dont have a dramatic eye, if you have a dramatic eye, dont have a dramatic lip.  I believe there is a little leeway.  Not much of a rule follower if its what inspires you  :)   BUT,  it helps when you just dont feel like it.

First thing first.  This may seem like work, but its just a little up keep that you can do daily that will help the lipstick stay on and make your lips smooth for application.

1. HYDRATION: Drink lots of water....I know I know...but, for those of us in these cold winters, it doesnt take long for our lips to start peeling, cracking and burning. Also, find a lip balm that suits you, to keep them moisturized.

2.  EXFOLIATE: When you are in the shower, take a wash cloth and go over your lips as well.  It will take the dead skin off, for that smooth feel.

3. PRIME:  When you use a primer on your lips before you put lipstick on, it will help the color have a long lasting effect.  Primer helps lipstick to stay in the lines too...no bleeding lipstick where you dont want it.

Touch up whatever skin you feel like you need to on your face (if any),  throw on you favorite mascara, and finally a pop of color on those lips!  Its spring, which means, bright and fun!

APPLICATION

If you dont mind constantly reapplying your lipstick all day, then you dont need this part.  But if you dont want to have to worry about it.....

1. Prime.  be Lovely (my makeup line) has a great primer that works on both eyes and lips.

2. If you have a lip liner color that matches with your lipstick, apply that first.  (If you dont have a liner, thats ok.) Outline the outside of your lips and continue to gently fill in the rest of your lips.

3. If you dont have a liner, this will be step 2 for you.  Apply the lipstick..I'm not particular how I apply my lipstick on myself. Use a brush, your finger or the lipstick tube itself. Whatever works for you.  Just stay in the lines! :)

4. Dab coated lips with a tissue.  (Place tissue between the lips and close....repeat)

5. Reapply a quick/thin coat of lipstick again and dab once more.

Thats it!  It stays on!  After eating a meal, I have had so many people comment about how my lipstick stayed on my lips so well!  It has everything to do with the prep, application and the lipstick itself!

You can go to belovely.com and pick out your favorite shade, along with a primer!  If you live in the area and would like to have a party to pick it out in person and bring all your friends let me know on facebook !  be Lovely gives 10% of all sales to help fight human trafficking!

Fun suggested spring colors from be Lovely! (Click on the color to see it on the website!) There are many colors, these are just some bright ones! So if you dont like any of these, check out the many options.  (33 colors to choose from)

Coral:
Gladys

Red:
Constance

Plum:
Sarah

Cool Pinks:
Amelia
Eleanor
Lucy

Constance

Constance is a girl in a music video, a spark that lit a passion, and then a lipstick color....

First, there came Constance, the young girl in a music video that was trafficked to be a sexual pleasure for a man in another country, she then was filmed to become a sexual pleasure for another man, in another country looking on the internet for pornography, with a family who thought everything was as it should be. This was the spark..... PLEASE WATCH

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqyLRpGgxRs

After being behind the scenes of this music video by Mr. J, I started the research....

-There are 30 million slaves in the world today, more than at any other point in human history.

-80% of all trafficking victims are women and children who are forced into the commercial sex trade.

-The average age of entry into commercial sex slavery in the United States is 13!

-15% of men in the United States have paid for sex at least once.

-Human Trafficking is the fastest growing criminal industry in the world.

-The murder rate for an American prostitute is 204 for every 100,000.  It is the most dangerous job in the world.  This DOES NOT include disease, physical abuse or starvation.  This is MURDER alone.

-The Twin Cities is the 13th most heavily trafficked metropolitan area in the United States.

-According to one service provider, 8,000 to 12,000 people are estimated to be involved in prostitution/sex trafficking in Minnesota every day.

Then the Lipstick.  How does lipstick even make sense?!  Well, it does now! :)  Constance is one of my best selling lipsticks in my line, be Lovely.  Without Constance, there would be no, be Lovely.  Now I am able to have a business that does my passion.  A business that will one day be well known because of the quality and the cause of the purchase.  I will be joining a team on a fashion blog this week!  Makeup is my business so makeup is what I will be talking about.  Follow us both to get looks that work for you!!  Fashion Fix with Linsey Kuhn! http://lifeinfashionwithlindaisy.blogspot.com/2013/02/more-on-board.html

I need YOU!

In this entry I wanted to talk a little bit about my business, be Lovely.  I am grateful for all the people that keep up with be Lovely through reading this blog, facebook, twitter and buying product, and want to keep you in the loop! First off, be Lovely is a for profit makeup line that I created almost a year ago!  As of now I give 10% of all sales to help fight against human trafficking and other social injustices.

It has been quite a ride for me.  Lots of learning as far as the business side of things go.  I still have lots to learn, and I am always grateful for ideas that people have about how to get be Lovely out there even more!

One thing that I want people to know is that because it is a for profit business, mixing the giving part for a new business can be hard.  More than anything, I want to be able to increase that 10% as quick as possible.  As a new business, I have to keep in mind that to stay afloat, I have to make money at the same time.  That totally conflicts with my heart sometimes, I must say :)  My passion for reaching people and relating to people is so important to me.  But, I do have to check myself because I chose to make it a for profit and not a non profit.  I want to show that you can create a business that makes money and still be able to give back with your profits.  I believe that I am well on my way.

I want to share some of my goals with you for a few reasons.  One, to motivate me to work hard for the goals I want to reach. Two, in case you have ideas of more things that I could do to help be Lovely succeed. And three, connections!  If you want to buy makeup, tell others or connect me with people that may be interested in be Lovely makeup.

GOALS:
- To be involved with at least 4 big events this year. (I am working on getting into a Professional Womens Workshop in March. It costs $1000 to have a booth, that I dont have yet)
-To raise the percentage that I give back to something higher than 10%
-Reach one person (famous/influential) this year, that would do something big or small to promote be Lovely makeup and cause.
-Be a featured product on fashion/beauty blogs
-Blog more often here about human trafficking and beauty.
-Sell my product in boutiques/salons

My goal will always be to reach and love people no matter what their stories.  Also, to challenge and educate people on the issue of sex trafficking.

These are a few of my over all goals.  I never want to limit what be Lovely could do. This is for your information but also, to get feedback and/or connections that people could offer.  be Lovely is my heart and I want to continue to learn how to do all of this but also to involve people in this mission.  Follow be Lovely on facebook (like our page) and twitter!

Thank you all so much for your support, love, and taking on the action of what be Lovely is calling us to be apart of.

Love,
Rach (owner of be Lovely)

"We were the lucky ones"

This blog entry is one of the reasons I do what I do.  This is why be Lovely is so important to me.  This is how lives are changed.  Most of this blog will not be my writing, but writing of a friend who came to me asking how she could help with be Lovely.  She has that same passion as I do, just with a different story.  I asked her if she would be willing to write out her story and have me share it with the community that follows be Lovely.  Stories change people and I believe by telling her story, lives will be changed and redemption had.

Now, this is real. By real I mean, this actually happened. By real I mean, these are the harsh realities that have been unmasked.  I believe that people need to hear those harsh realities in all their intensity so there is no room for being ignorant if you choose to read.  So prepare yourself to get a glimpse of what I would describe hell on earth for a young child.

The Truth

I never had a childhood.  Not in the real sense of the word.  It was stolen from me before I was old enough to know what that meant.  My brothers, sisters, and I were the victims of child abuse. 

When most people trade memories of their earliest memories, I stay silent.  I have no memories of the time before I was rescued- only nightmares.  I have a nightmare of my older sister running to get my baby sister, who couldn’t even walk, off of the stairs as the man I knew as a father threw the woman who called herself mother down them.  I have memories of being chased by the cops while we were in a white van… to this day, I still start shaking when I see white vans.  I have memories of being so hungry, that eventually your body stops registering it as hunger.  Of watching a six-year-old boy and a five-year-old girl divvy out ketchup and spinach to their three younger siblings, because that “mother” and her “boyfriend” left all of us alone for over a month, and that was all there was to eat.  And, when that disgusting fare was gone, wishing for more of it. 

I have other memories as well.  Much, much worse.  Of being told that a body part tastes like butter.  Of being forced to watch people have sex.  Of being forced to have sex- both with those three adults, and my siblings.  I have memories of standing, huddled in a corner, all five of us, not making a sound.  Of them raping us right there, in front of each other, and thinking that that was normal.  All they had to say was “Next.”  It would only be worse if we tried to fight- the sex was bad enough, but they would find other ways to violate our bodies.  They would whip our behinds until they bled, with a belt, and then rape us anally.  That was if we were lucky.  If we weren’t, they would starve us, and punish us that way.  No, the only time that we fought back was to defend the baby.  I remember the “mother” coming over and grabbing the baby from my sister’s arms, and that my sister screamed and ran after her, wrenching her from their grasp and shoving her at us.  Of her giving herself to them, so that they stopped going after that tiny innocent.  We were all afraid for our lives, but even then, we all knew that she would die if they did that to her tiny body. 

Finally, we were told the worst news of all.  It happened one morning, when we were staying in a run-down motel.  That my sister was “old enough to earn a living,” and that we “would all have to learn”.  That they were selling her.  That didn’t make sense to us.  Then they told us that she wouldn’t come back.  My sister started to scream, and fight, as they dragged us to the door.  He punched her, hard, and told her to shut up and “be nice”, or they’d hurt the baby.   Then the door opened.  A man stood there.  None of us made a sound, including my sister.  They all spoke in whispered sentences, and then all sorts of things happened at once.  I don’t remember much of it, except that we were all ushered out of the house and into a bunch of cars.  They tried to split us up, and I remember shrieking when they pulled my older sister away from me.  A cop had to grab me and shake me, so that I would listen to him.  He said that they weren’t taking her away, but we all had to go to the station- that they were the Police, and we were finally safe.  I didn’t know what that meant.  I kept asking if that meant that my sister got to stay, and not stopping until he said that yes, they would try to keep us all together.

We were the lucky ones.  Every year, there are hundreds of children who do not get rescued.  And the rescue of the foster care system is, in some cases, worse than the situation these children have left.  Some of the parents rape the children, and some beat them mercilessly, treating them like slaves.  But these particular children never fully trust, anyway.  The boys usually have so much anger, that they end up on the wrong side of the law, with juvenile and criminal records.  A lot of people label them “unsalvageable”, because they can’t be trained to be good members of society.  And the girls, statistically, prostitute themselves by the time that they are twelve, and kill themselves before they turn eighteen.  This is not happening in some foreign country; this is the United States of America. 

I have a friend who confided that her mother sold her to a drug dealer for a hit, and that she was raped by multiple men that night.  She was twelve.  And her mother, when she came to pick her up, told her to sit in the back, because she didn’t want to ride beside a “slut”.  That girl joined the Army to change her fate. 

Our daughters and sons face this, every day.  And the world continues on in blissful ignorance.  I now have a friend who recently told me that he has a porn addiction.  It started as normal things.  Then he started to watch things that were slightly more daring, slightly more violent.  He said that it is now to the point where he looks up pictures of nude families, to see the children.  That that is all that stops him, because seeing the children makes him hate himself. 

We all hear of the criminals as though they are “born that way.”  I challenge you to think differently, and to realize that they are created.  That somehow, at some time in their life, they started inching their moral boundaries over bit by bit, until their perspective of right and wrong became so skewed that they no longer saw that the people that they were hurting were more important than their hunger.   People don’t like this perspective- it’s dangerous.  You see, the perspective that it is about choice, and addiction, and a desire to rebel, means that any of us is capable of becoming that monster.  It means that, if we don’t take reign of ourselves, and own our brothers and sisters of the world as “our responsibility”, then we share partial blame for what happens.  That the choice to look the other way is not the right one, and that the only way that this can stop is to put people before things.  That somebody else’s needs outweigh your own.  Recognize the consequences of turning on that little bit of porn before bed, or after your wife is asleep.   That when a girl or boy is standing on a street corner, she/ he didn’t ask for that life.  No matter how much you try to tell yourself that she/he is an adult, and it was “their choice”, please force yourself to remember my story.  That girl could have been me, so easily.  And that boy one of my brothers. 

Everyone was a child.  Not all of us got to experience what that is supposed to mean.  But the choice to change that for the next generation begins with you and me.

I want to thank my friend for being brave.  Its not easy to put yourself out there. But her heart is to bring awareness and redemption.  My goal for be Lovely has always been a way that stories like this could be shared. Voices that have been unheard....heard.  If you have a story that relates to human trafficking that you would like to share, please, send it to me.  I will be making a tab on the be Lovely site for stories to be shared. be Lovely is an outlet for people to bring awareness from wearing the makeup to telling their story.  email: rachel@belovely.com